Bottled Memories
“If only there could be an invention that bottled up a memory, like scent. And it never faded, and it never got stale. And then, when one wanted it, the bottle could be uncorked, and it would be like living the moment all over again.” – Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca
Most of my memories play in my mind like a film reel. Moving snapshots rolling over each other; the exact days and years are indistinguishable. They are a mix of faces that are long since gone and others that remain a constant presence, places to which I can never return and places that are now my sanctuary. The moments that fill me with joy and the moments that haunt me appear side-by-side like sisters. Both are needed to make up who I am. My past, present, and future threaded together by grace and chaos. Lessons learned and values instilled. I accept them all as parts of me.
But my dearest memories? These are the ones I would bottle up. Adorned with cute little labels, I would display on antique shelves, nestled between my books and my treasures. And when I am feeling lost or uncertain, I would uncork the bottle and breathe in my past selves. I would remember the moments when I was brave, when I was strong, I was safe, I was loved, I was amazed.
Annual camping trips on Canada Day weekend, shouting Red Rover Red Rover as we ran happily across the fields
Christmas morning with my family, when tradition and nostalgia lived in harmony with the new and exciting
Tobogganing during recess, laughing the whole way down the hill
Ice skating on the rink my dad built in the backyard, my dad rubbing my near-frozen feet in the kitchen afterwards
Trick-or-Treating in the early 2000s, dressing up without a trace of self-consciousness
Sleepovers at my grandparents, having breakfast at the kitchen table, feeling blessed, even then, to have known them
Summer vacations at the rental cottage, we may not have owned it, but it will always be ours
Spontaneous road trips with my best friend, visiting orchards and small towns, on a quest for the best latte
Nights out at the theatre with my mom, singing “Wouldn’t It Be Lovely” off-key the whole way home
Snuggles with Edison, my Blue Heeler Shepherd, who taught me so much about love
The night we brought Copper, our Beagle home, the five of us snuggled up on the floor, watching The Fox and the Hound
The first night in my own apartment, the blank walls full of potential and dreams
The first and only time I saw fireflies glowing in the forest, proof that there is magic in this world
The first and only time I went horseback riding, the thrill of being terrified and empowered simultaneously
Watching a mama robin feed her tiny hatchlings, bearing witness to the gentleness of Mother Nature
Feeding a Black-capped-chickadee from the palm of my hand, feeling like a Disney princess
Exploring London, England, from Piccadilly Circus to the St. James Park, this city was enchanting
Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour Toronto Night 2, screaming the lyrics to my favourite song
My 30th birthday garden tea party, surrounded by my people
Seeing my name printed in Bella Grace for the first time, truly a dream come true
